January 2012
414 posts
1 tag
If you have to brighten my Friday with anonymous insults, go crazy.
Reblog if you want your followers to tell you one...
neon-loneliness:
(snipped: via the whole world)
Oh man yes, brighten my Friday, for god’s sake.
Last night I had a dream that one of the schools I applied to went over every flaw in my application over WebEx so I got to see why they rejected me in real time.
I need this Friday.
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There’s a “Shit Chicagoans Say” video and it’s just…more crap from white people.
Shit got real on tumblr today. And, you know, every day.
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I manage all the employee biographies for my company, and whenever I have to archive one of them because that person got fired or quit, it is always, always with a hint of jealousy.
The irony of being obsessed with death and disease at 23 is that it’s all downhill from here. Also I don’t smoke, I rarely drink, and I eat pretty well (you know, when I eat). So basically, what’s going to kill me is anxiety.
OCD: the disorder where people beg you to shut up.
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novazembla replied to your post: But really what is it like for people who get…
Oh my god Michelle EAT SOMETHING.
Oh man you guys, I am eating! I’m fine now! I meant it as like a rhetorical question!
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But really what is it like for people who get random pains and don’t immediately think you’re dying? What do you people do all day? Live normal lives? Eat?
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I got to talk to a med student when I went to the doctor. When he left the room to go get my actual doctor he said, “I don’t think you have anything to stress about.” He was gone before I could set him straight.
On the bright side I started reading Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on the bus and now I just want to go to Iunch so I can keep reading.
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Weight stuff, OCD stuff
One month of anxiety and I lose almost 10 pounds. This is super fun for someone obsessed with cancer.
I mean fuck it then, I’m getting a fucking burger.
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A comprehensive list of foods that do not trigger...
My boss just started an email asking us to do something with the phrase “I guess this goes without saying, but…”
Does it, asshole? Does it really?
I hope everyone in this company chokes on a bag of dicks.
bricksandmortarandchewinggum replied to your post: Boss emails me a question, I email him a response
!!! ??
He is a grade A idiot. I don’t know.
Boss emails me a question, I email him a response
Two minutes later he calls me and says, “Listen, instead of emailing back and forth, just pick up the phone and call me.”
Whatever dickhead. Maybe don’t ask me these stupid fucking questions and we won’t have any problems.
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Book review
Frances Mayes can fuck right off.
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Going to the doctor today, which fills me with anxiety because everything fills me with anxiety and also I constantly think I’m dying.
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Also, ugh. I’m so over Aaron Sorkin.
Other than that it amazes me how, year after year, the Oscars fail to do anything even remotely interesting.
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The fact that Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig were nominated for a Best Original Screenplay makes me blindly, irrationally happy.
We all know how I feel about Benedict Cribbagematch but honestly watching Martin Freeman mouth off in every single interview he’s ever given really makes me want to marry him.
My comfort zone is getting claustrophobic anyway.
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Sure. Sure I’ll sign up for a comedy writing class.
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I expected it to be silly. I even wanted it to be silly. Instead I am, as usual, just mad at it.
seejanerum replied to your post: I’m reading a book by Frances Mayes, who also…
Why are you reading this?
I didn’t know what I was getting into, because I am not very bright. And now I have to finish. I’m compelled.
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Page 274, the first time I see the word privilege. In passing. Let’s not get messy.
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I’m reading a book by Frances Mayes, who also wrote Under the Tuscan Sun. I haven’t read Under the Tuscan Sun but I’m willing to bet it’s JUST as insufferable as this one.
Dear OCD: it is not cancer that’s making me nauseous, it’s birth control pills. If it turns out to be cancer, I owe you a Coke.
Karma's a bitch
A fun thing that happens to me every winter is that my lips get incredibly chapped no matter what I put on them because I have the world’s most sensitive skin. So my upper lip is red and kind of swollen. My lips do not need to get any bigger. I look like I tried to paint on half of a clown face. I can’t help but feel like this is all because I compared Alice Morgan to Sally’s dad...
OH MY GOD TUMBLR GET YOUR SHIT RIGHT
Also I need to go back to the gym because it’s the best way I’ve found to not feel like I’m going absolutely insane 90% of the time.
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We made stir fry because Charlie said I wasn’t allowed to just eat Hostess cupcakes for dinner. It had all kinds of vegetables and brown rice and shit so now I guess I’ve filled my requirement for being a person.
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bricksandmortarandchewinggum replied to your post: Yes, I am having peppermint tea and Hostess…
that sounds amazing. if I wasn’t so lazy I’d go out and buy a hostess cupcake right now.
God gave us Hostess cupcakes when he gave us the 10 commandments because he didn’t want to look like such a dork.
Yes, I am having peppermint tea and Hostess cupcakes for dinner. Yes, this weekend has been full of anxiety, how can you tell?
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Jesus Christ chocolate chip cookie dough Larabars are delicious.
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Fun fact: Nicholas Winding Refn wrote and directed one of my favorite episodes of Miss Marple (Nemesis) which also features Dan Stevens.
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We’re watching Bronson. It is all kinds of fantastic.
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Ugh I have to leave the house now and I really don’t want to, I want to drink tea and read and blog my five-year plan to get in the pants of celebrities.
For real though I’ll go take some acting lessons right fucking now. Career goals? My boobs in Pumpkinpatch’s face. And also fame.
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Lara: At one point, I was literally straddling your thigh, naked, with my boobs in your face!
Benedict: I remember.
My apartment looks like a funhouse in that picture.
